Naturally Arising

We often think of confidence as something we either have or we don’t — that some people are born with it and others spend a lifetime chasing it.

But confidence is more nuanced and can be better understood as a state which naturally forms when deeper foundations are in place.

This explains why someone can be highly capable and successful — yet still find they react under pressure.

And why someone else, with fewer external signs of success, can move through the world with a quiet, unshakeable assurance.

When we understand the different components, it means we can consciously create the right conditions that allow a deeper, genuine confidence to flourish.

Growing Confidence

Core

One foundation is developing a sense of our core self — beneath the conditioning of who we think we should be, or need to be.

When we feel more at ease with ourselves. When we discover our freedom to be.

We might find we’re more creative, more outspoken, more resilient than we ever realised. Not because we tried harder — but because we stopped hiding.

 Capabilities

Another foundation comes from developing the capabilities to self-regulate and consciously guide our physiology, minds and emotions — such as knowing we can centre ourselves after a wobble, navigate our emotional states with more skill, calm our nervous system before we’re overwhelmed with stress.

It’s not that we don’t react — we react less. In time, we catch ourselves before we spiral.

Competence

Then there’s the confidence that comes from developing competence — from putting in the time and effort to genuinely learn the skills that matter to us. Whether that’s running a meeting, raising a child, speaking a language or leading a team. When we know we can do it well enough — and when others recognise that too — we gain an assurance that forms the ground for mastery, if we desire.

Interconnected

Each plays its role — they are all interconnected, and show up in different situations.

When these three foundations are in place — a clearer sense of self, an ability to self-regulate and real, developed capability — we find confidence arises naturally.

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